Don't Feed the Goblin. Plus More Thoughts on Systems Thinking.
I want to talk about systems thinking — not the kind from a textbook, but the kind I've worked out for myself. For me it means stepping back, looking at my reality honestly, and building support for the version of me who has no energy, isn't in a good mood, and cannot be bothered. She deserves a system too.
Design for the Day You Can't Be Bothered
Most of us build systems for our best selves. The rested one. The motivated one. The one who's ready to perform. Then we're surprised when the whole thing collapses the moment we're tired.
We are cyclical beings. Whether or not you still have a cycle, you are still cyclical — you are not a miniature version of a man. Your energy moves. Your hormones move. A system that pretends otherwise will fail you on exactly the days you need it most.
So I build for the low days. The real test of a system isn't whether it works when I'm at my best. It's whether it works when I'm at my worst.
The One-Click Rule
Here's a small example. In my daily hub, I track my habits, and each one has a support card — a little card that opens up and makes the habit easier. If my habit is to check in with my money, the card drops me straight into Monarch Money. No hunting for the URL. No digging for a password. It's all at my fingertips.
But then I asked a deeper question: what if I don't even have the energy to click twice? So I built a view where the most important link sits right up front. I don't even open the card. One click instead of two.
This might sound like overkill — until you notice how many good choices die in the gap between one click and two.
Erase the Friction Before It Erases You
I had a protein powder living in my cabinet. I kept forgetting it was there. And on tired days I couldn't be bothered to open the bag and zip it back up — it never zipped on the first try, so I'd stand there fiddling with it.
Small thing, right? But on a worn-down day, you don't have it in you for one more point of friction. And then you stop making the choices that would actually get you out of the slump. So I slowed down and solved it: a glass container, on the counter, next to the blender. Now the extra thirty grams of protein is the easy choice.
Same with my clothes. I own one kind of dress — the exact cut, fabric, and neckline I love — because I took the time to figure out what I actually wanted, then let myself have it, extra shipping to Portugal and all. I wake up and it’s effortlessly easy to dress my best. That one decision compounds every single day.
Slowing Down Is Its Own Superpower
If you feel resistance to something you know is good for you, that may not be your higher self talking. That's your pattern — the one that says we don't deserve it, we have to earn it, we have to put ourselves last. That pattern has to die.
The urgency — everything's on fire, everything's on my shoulders, I don't have time for this — that's the pattern too. Your higher self shows up when you slow down. That's where the better decision lives.
Feed the Goblin or Starve It
I came across a woman with ADHD and autism who once described the low feeling as a goblin. Every time she listens to it — stays in her pajamas, skips the shower, eats junk — the goblin gets bigger. Every time she showers, dresses, eats something real, the goblin gets smaller.
Some days are pajama days. Some days are frozen-pizza days. That's being human, and it counts as systems thinking too. But you know the difference between taking it easy and feeding the goblin.
Even if you feel like crap, that is not a reason to treat yourself like crap. Build the ramp that takes you uphill — so that on the days you feel awful, you're not sliding into the muck.
Ready to build a system that holds you on your hardest days?
If this resonated with you, I want to invite you to join Sacred Systems — the Notion solution for sovereign women. It's the daily hub, the support cards, and the cyclical approach for women who deserve to keep taking care of themselves no matter what.
