How to Stop Tolerating What's Draining You
Over the past couple of years, I've been on a personal mission — one that's changed how I run my business, how I spend my energy, and how I feel on a daily basis. The mission? Eradicating dysfunction. Not in a dramatic overhaul kind of way, but in a steady, intentional "I'm done tolerating this" kind of way. Here's what I've learned, and how you can start doing it too.
You've normalized things that are quietly costing you
Dysfunction doesn't always look like chaos. Sometimes it looks like spending five minutes searching for a password every single time you sit down to work. Or recording a podcast episode turning into this whole production of “Where did I put that?”, “How does this work again?”, “Why is this so hard every single time?”
That low-grade friction? It adds up. It drains your energy, steals your time, and makes you resent the very things you love doing. The first step is just admitting: this is a problem, and it doesn't have to be this way.
Sharpen the axe before you start swinging.
Abraham Lincoln (supposedly) said that if he had six hours to chop down a tree, he'd spend the first four sharpening his axe. That quote has stayed with me. Most of us are out here swinging dull axes and wondering why we're exhausted.
Slowing down to set yourself up — getting organized, building a system, addressing the dysfunction — doesn't feel productive. But it is the most productive thing you can do. The mental rewiring required here is real, but it's worth it.
Make a list of your own pain points — yes, yours.
List every single thing that's bothering you. What's rubbing you the wrong way? What drains you? What makes you think, “I cannot believe I'm still dealing with this?” All of it goes on the list. How wild it is that we're constantly taught to identify our audience's pain points — but nobody tells us to do that for ourselves?!
I'd actually argue that your own pain points are your greatest business asset. Solve your own problems first, then share those solutions. That's the whole model. You don't need to go digging around in your audience's psyche. Just tend to your own garden.
Make sure the pain points on your list are actually yours.
Many of us have a habit of putting other people's problems on our own list. You think you're being caring and responsible, but what's actually happening is you're avoiding your own stuff by staying busy with everyone else's. This pattern has a name: high-functioning codependency. It looks like selflessness from the outside, but underneath it is this feeling of "I can't be okay unless you're okay."
If that resonates even a little, I'd point you toward Terri Cole's work — her book Too Much is a great place to start, and she has plenty of videos on YouTube.
The goal isn't to stop caring about people. It's to make sure your own needs are actually on your radar — because a drained, depleted version of you isn't helping anyone.
Then just start. One thing at a time.
Once your list exists, look at it with fresh eyes. What's one thing you could actually do this week to make something better? Not a massive overhaul — just one small act of refusing to keep tolerating something that doesn't have to be this way. That's it. That's the practice. Slow, steady, zero tolerance for unnecessary dysfunction.
Ready to build the systems that actually support your life?
If this resonated with you, I want to invite you to join Sacred Systems- the Notion solution for sovereign women. It's the practical container for everything we talked about here. Less friction, more flow, a life that actually runs on your terms.
