It Doesn't Get Easier, You Get Better: Lessons from Our Tea Party Call
You’re getting a taste of our Tea Parties
Every month in Say Yes to Desire, we get on a call and let the conversation go wherever it needs to go. Here are some of the questions that came up on our March 2026 call — and the answers that came through.
Q: I keep starting projects and then abandoning them when they get hard. How do I actually finish something?
Answer: The resistance you feel isn't a sign something is wrong — it's a sign something real is trying to emerge. Every single course I've ever made was hard, and not because of the logistics, but because it required a version of me to die. Old beliefs, old identities, old stories about what I was allowed to create. The hard part is the work. So instead of running from it, ramp up the self-care while you let it be hard. Eat your meals, take your walks, get your sleep. You're not trying to make the feelings go away — you're just showing your body that you're safe enough to feel them.
Practically: start small. Tell yourself it's a $5 course. A 5 minute video. You're not trying to make money with your first creation — you're trying to give your nervous system new data that says I can finish what I start. That's the real lesson, and that's what eventually makes you money.
Q: How do you actually process difficult emotions? I've spent years putting feelings in a box and I don't even know where to start.
Answer: The first step is just normalizing that it's safe. When your nervous system finally feels regulated and held, that's exactly when the older, unfelt feelings start surfacing - because you’re ready to feel them. So if emotions are coming up for you more than before, that's actually a good sign, not a problem. You don't need to know where every feeling comes from. You just need to let it move through.
One practice that's been profound for me: imagine your inner child lying next to you, facing you, holding your hand. Just stay there with her. Don't leave. That act of presence — of not abandoning yourself — is the healing. You can also try what I do on walks: listen to music, let yourself cry if a sad song comes on, let yourself think about yourself in past times and ponder: "that was so sad, I'm sorry she (your younger self) had to go through that." Feelings don't need to make logical sense to be real. They just need to be felt.
Q: What do you do when someone in your life responds negatively to your ideas and almost derails you?
Answer: Not everyone is your person for every conversation, even people you love. Your ideas are tender when they're new, and some people, even well-meaning ones, will respond from their own fear or limitation. When that happens and you feel yourself starting to wobble, that's the moment to come back to what you know in your body to be true.
The bigger lesson here is people-pleasing — and learning to spot it early is one of the most valuable things you can do as an entrepreneur. Your business grows in direct proportion to how well you can handle people not being happy with you. Not liking you. Unsubscribing. Leaving a mean comment. That will happen, and you can allow it to happen, because ultimately you're still safe. The sooner you can feel that in your bones, the freer you become to actually build something real.
Q: I want to create a community but I don't know where to start or what platform to use.
Answer: Before you pick a platform, ask yourself: who do I need to be to hold this kind of space? That's the real question — not "should I use Facebook or Circle?" A platform just hosts what you bring to it. I had a Facebook group for years, and I eventually had to close it, because keeping it going required the people-pleasing version of me. And a people-pleasing version of me couldn't create what we have in this community (Say Yes to Desire) now - which is so much better.
Instead of jumping into creating a Facebook group, try living in the question: what would it look like if I created real, nourishing connection with other women? Let it be open. Let it be an intention, not a deadline. What you actually want isn't a platform — it's the feeling of being in a room full of people who get it. See what comes along as you hold that desire.
This call was transcribed and edited into a blog post format with the help of Castmagic.
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These conversations happen every month inside Say Yes to Desire — a warm, intimate coaching community for women who are done shrinking and ready to say yes to what they actually want.
