How to Stop Pushing and Start Paying Attention
Have you ever made a plan and then watched it fall apart? Here's why that might be the best thing that could happen. I map out eight areas of my life and write an intention for each one. Almost none of it goes the way I think it will. And every single time, what happens is better than what I wrote down.
In this post you will learn:
How I use a simple monthly table to check in on eight areas of my life
Why things not going to plan is not a failure
How zooming out helps you stop fighting reality and start enjoying your life
What my monthly review table looks like
On the first of every month, a task called "Read me" shows up in my task list in Notion. I open it, and there is a simple table. Not a database. Just a table.
The first column holds my areas of life. I have eight. Health, spiritual, home, relationships, business, etc. The second column holds my intention for each area for the whole year. Every column after that is a month. January 1st. February 1st. March 1st.
Each month I write two or three sentences of reflection on where I’m at for each area. When I'm done, I reschedule the task for next month. Then I don't think about it again until it shows up.
You don't need Notion for this. A spreadsheet works. So does a page in your planner. What matters is that the months sit side by side, so you can see them all at once.
When the plan falls apart…
There's an old attitude that says it's all up to you and you have to make it happen. That attitude gets some things done. But it also keeps you in a constant fight with reality. That is a hard way to live.
When you truly accept that you don't control everything, something shifts. And I mean actually accept it, not just say it. You stop forcing what your ego envisioned six months ago. You start receiving what is actually unfolding. Those are two very different ways of being alive.
“Your well-being doesn't have to wait until the plan works out. You get to feel good now.”
Breakthrough always follows breakdown
Every month, without exception, I notice the same thing. Something happened that I never could have predicted. And it's better than what I planned.
That doesn't mean every month looks good. Some months my note says something like, "Nothing is happening here and everything is exploding over there and I genuinely don't know what's going on."
But when I see October, November, and December side by side, the pattern is clear. The month that felt like it was burning down is almost always followed by the biggest breakthrough. Once you've seen that enough times, you stop panicking every time something goes off plan. You have receipts for how your life actually tends to go.
This is hard to explain without doing it. Inside a hard month, you can't see its shape. You only feel the friction. But column by column, you start to get a felt sense of how life works. Not in theory. In your own life.
You stop gripping the plan and start watching it unfold. That's not passive. It's present. And it feels so much better.
ask yourself:“What if the plan falling apart right now is making room for something better?”
Resonated with this post?
Build a monthly reflection practice that sticks inside Sacred Systems.
